Deep In The Ice
by kazoquel4
Summary: Basically me trying to unwravel the character of Jack Frost, see his intentions, etc. Kind of a character study, if you will?


Spending three hundred years alone is enough to get to anyone's head. It's especially hard when you don't even understand who you are and, more importantly, why you are forced to endure this torture. The torture of loneliness. You know you're on your own, and even if you try to reach out, to speak with someone, to find some way _out _of this eternal torment, they won't hear you. Because you're invisible, and invisibility is just that: another form of loneliness.

People always say that they want to be immortal, when in reality, they have no idea. Yes, the lure of eternal youth can ensnare anyone, but when you really get down to the root of it, it's a horrid way to live one's life. To watch all your loved ones grow old without you, leave you behind, is heartbreaking within itself. And even if you don't have anyone you care for, anyone who cares for _you, _you are eternally the same. Nothing changes, or differs. For the rest of eternity, you will be stuck with one existence, with nothing to differentiate the days except the passing of time leaving you behind. The idea is enough to make one's head spin with the mere thought of it, and many begin to reconsider their wish to be immortal.

Unfortunately, Jack Frost didn't wish it. It wasn't even his choice. He was forced into it when the Man in the Moon resurrected him from the bottom of that frozen lake. He was grateful towards the Moon, of course; he was, after all, receiving another chance at life, and with strange magical abilities as well. But the matter still stood as to _why. _Why was he chosen, out of all the people in the world, to become… _this_; this immortal being, lost forever in the binds of childhood. He didn't even have his memories, of all things, the very center of what makes someone who they are. Whatever person he had created before he had become this was gone, and he had to start anew with the limited knowledge he possessed.

Yet still, Jack managed to make the best of it. Unknowingly, he embraced his center of fun in nearly everything he did. However, he didn't exactly do it in the best way possible. He often turned to blatant mischief in order to create fun for himself, and was regarded as an irresponsible troublemaker by the other spirits. But his exploits were also, in extent, a cry for attention; three hundred years of solitude, pushed away by all who could understand him and invisible to the rest made one rather desperate. So his plans and schemes got wilder and wilder as he grew more anxious to be seen. But still, they ignored him, and he couldn't help but begin to think that maybe there was a reason for all of this. Was it something to do with him? Were they ignoring him on purpose, pushing him away because he was simply unwanted?

Frustrated that no one would hear his pleas, Jack drew in on himself, learning more and more to depend on no one. He was extraordinarily independent, and stubbornly refused to accept even the smallest bit of help. His reasoning? If they didn't want to help, he wouldn't force them to. He would learn to handle everything himself, until he wouldn't even need their assistance, and he could do whatever he pleased. The plan, for the most part, worked. Jack was very efficient in everything he did, and despite his mischievous nature, was able to get his work done and have fun at the same time. But there was one thing he would never be able to replicate for himself; the want for affection, for human attention. Jack Frost needed someone other than himself to confide in, to speak to. Yet everyone he reached out to brushed him away like he was nothing but a nuisance, destined to simply annoy everyone for the rest of time.

After a while, he actually begun to believe that.

Until, that is, he was forced into guardianship. He had been admittedly wary of the other guardians at first, and hesitant to help. Although he loathed to even imagine a world in which Pitch Black had control over the children, he didn't like the idea of working with the 'Guardians of Childhood'. He was Jack Frost, the _only child in the world they didn't protect. _And he wasn't about to drop everything and rush into their open arms just because they needed help; help from the immortal they had so eagerly ignored for hundreds of years.

When he learned that Pitch held the key to his memories, Jack knew he had to do all he could to get them back. His memories were the key to unlocking who he was, to learning his purpose in the world. So he reluctantly teamed up with the guardians, paired together to fight for mutual gain, and of course to save the population of children Pitch Black was threatening.

Over the course of their short war with Pitch, the unthinkable happened: the guardians and Jack actually began to form bonds. It was hesitant and fragile, yes, but very slowly the two groups merged. Jack learned that he had to trust they would have his back, and the others had to believe he wouldn't betray them, if only for the sake of the children. And they both held up to their side of the bargain, for a while, and they found themselves gaining more than they thought they would. They were gaining each other's friendship, very gradually, and Jack was beginning to learn what actual human companionship.

But whatever bonds they had been slowly forming were violently cut when the guardians believed Jack to have betrayed them. To their credit, it did look suspicious; Jack leaving just when Pitch's Fearlings attacked, then returning with his memories. And the only person that could have given him those were Pitch, so the only logical explanation was that they had been betrayed. They sent him away in shame, disgusted that he would ever do something like that. At that moment, whatever fragile trust Jack had begun to build up was completely shattered. They didn't even trust him enough to hear his side of the story, to learn of what he had been through. And then, everything Pitch had been saying sunk in. No matter how much the guardians pretended they cared about him, they didn't really. He would always be alone; they would never _really _accept him. Just when he thought things might be changing for the better, life throws him for a loop-de-loop. Devastated by the loss of his newfound allies, Jack had done the only thing he could: he ran.

When Pitch caught up to Jack in Antarctica, he found the boy emotionally unstable and internally conflicted- the perfect time to strike. Eager to gain the teen's mass of power for his own, Pitch had launched his volley of attacks, hitting just the right chords to make Jack feel weak. However, just when Jack seemed about to succumb to his desires, he had made his fatal mistake. He had brought up exactly the opposite of what Jack wanted: to be feared. He wanted to be seen, yes, believed in, but never feared. To him, that would be the same as being invisible. Jack wouldn't be able to live in a world where everyone treated him with fear and hidden loathing.

That had struck something in Jack, and he understood he couldn't leave the guardians. So he had returned, and both parties had forgiven each other without saying a word in the face of their fight. With the aid of Jamie and the believing children of Burgess, they had fought off the threat with nothing but fun and innocence on their side.

Jamie. As Jack's first believer, he will always hold a special place in Jack's heart. The tidal wave of emotion he had felt when Jamie had seen him had been incomparable to anything Jack had ever experienced, even in his three hundred years of life. He realized that, perhaps, he wasn't as alone as he thought… maybe there was a chance for him to amount to something. He had the guardians now, even if only for a short time, and armed with his new memories and first true believer, Jack felt as though his life was taking a turn for the better. And all because one little boy had decided to believe in Jack Frost.

After Pitch had been defeated, taken down by his own fear, Jack had been very surprised to find the guardians still wanted him- surprised but overjoyed. It would take time, of course, before he could fully trust them. Three hundred years of solitude left deep scars on both one's mental and emotional health. But now Jack had something he had never had before: a family. And he wasn't going to give that up just because of the hint of mistrust still lingering in the air. For the first time in his life, he was going to take the risk, and allow someone to enter his heart. And maybe, just maybe, they'll let _him _into their heart.

Jack Frost wasn't alone anymore. And it was going to stay that way.


End file.
